Do Not Duplicate

When you sit back and truly think about yourself and how you see you, are you honest with yourself? We all know how we think others see us, but how do we see us? Some of us, when we look in the mirror, say things like, I hate my hair, I hate my body, I wish I was pretty like the girl in the video doing her make-up. If I buy the make-up, I would feel better about myself. Although this may be true in theory, we still speak to ourselves in harsh words. Did you know that your voice is the loudest voice your brain hears?

When we say, "I would be loved more if I would loose weight, if I got the promotion at work, I would be worth attention, he left me because I am not the perfect partner, or she left because I don't make her happy", we are making our beliefs about us true...we are not worthy.

In reality, none of these things should matter. There is no prerequisites for being worthy. Nothing in the Universe should rob us of the ability to receive worthiness and love. We dig a huge pool of doubt and emptiness when we remind ourselves minute by minute why we don't have worthiness. So where do these ideas come from? Are we born this way? Is it because our parents taught us to feel this way? Were we witnesses to this in some way or another as we grew up? YES! to all the above. We watched as our parents struggled to feel complete. We heard "if you would just do better in school, we wouldn't be so mad at you." "If you would just loose some weight, guys would be falling at your feet", If you would work harder at work, or be a part of the mean girl club, you would get that promotion and then I would feel more comfortable trusting you." All of those things write on the slate of who we are and force us into the thoughts of not being worthy. Sometimes, just sometimes, we own it too. Sometimes, we create this in our heads because someone, somewhere didn't make us happy therefor it must be because you weren't good enough.

And there it is! We give our happiness away to a complete stranger. Someone who doesn't even know what our internal voice sounds like let alone dot they listen to our inner voice and our needs and desires. We trust someone else with our most precious possession, our souls. Yes, it's your partner, your kids, your friends, your family, but they don't know YOU like you know YOU! So why should anyone other than you be responsible for you? We give ourselves away to the first person we think will be better at making us happy than us. We fail, so they MUST be better at it than me, right? WRONG!

As long as you put someone else in control of anything about you, they will fail 100% of the time! Why? Because your idea of happiness changes with the wind. It's normal, we all change minute by minute. How are they supposed to know that? Oh, I'm sure you remind them constantly when they fail you, and what happens? They say "fine, here, take your heart back, you are too much work!" Then what do you say? "I am not good enough for someone to invest in." It's me! We also find ourselves in relationships that mimic that same behavior. They make you the keeper of their souls and their happiness, you pick it up like a lost puppy eager to heal. Hey, if I can't heal myself, surely I can make them happy. You give it a good effort, but surprise, once again, it fails miserably. We fight, we argue, we quit, we go back, we abuse and get abused, and here you are, broken. Unworthy of love and happiness. This must be what you are worth. It's the end of the road, no one will ever love me for me because I don't love me.

I'm here to tell you that this is the farthest thing from the truth. As long as you breath, you are worthy. Once you free yourself with the responsibility of others happiness and you take your responsibility from someone else you surrendered yours to, then and only then will you be able to completely and wholeheartedly be worthy. Start small, tell yourself every day how much you love yourself. How beautiful you are. look from the inside out. What is amazing, is we may not be able to change the outside much, but the inside there is always room for improvement. Good news, you have the master key and there are no extra copies!

Look down: the key says, "DO NOT DUPLICATE!" Unlock your door and start rearranging those obstacles you put in the way. Move them to the window, so you can climb up and look out at the beautiful world around you. Your eyes are your windows. Isn't the view spectacular?